Actors: Who Is Sucking the Fastest?

According to the news, Charlie Sheen’s career is in shambles. He’s facing some unhealthy distractions that may cause him to miss some work, but he’s having fun too. I don’t doubt his short-term work will be limited, but I don’t buy that his long-term prospects are gloomy.

Is Charlie Sheen’s decline the worst in Hollywood? Let’s put the fact that Charlie’s still the face of the biggest sitcom on TV aside and just look at movies to find out.

Using some math, here’s a list of the the actors whose movies are sucking the fastest. Keep in mind that an actor’s “decline” implies they have somewhere to fall from — the better they originally did, the further they have to drop.

1		Vin Diesel Decline / Year: 4.88		Early Hits: 91 – Saving Private Ryan (1998) 97 – The Iron Giant (1999) 67 – Boiler Room (2000) Recent Misses: 36 – F&F: Tokyo Drift (2006) 7 – Babylon A.D. (2008) 28 – Fast and Furious (2009)
2		Damon Wayans Decline / Year: 4.23		Early Hits: 84 – Beverley Hills Cop (1984) 88 – Roxanne (1987) 87 – Hollywood Shuffle (1987) Recent Misses: 48 – Bamboozled (2000) 9 – Marci X (2003) 9 – Marmaduke (2010)
3		Amanda Seyfried Decline / Year: 3.67		Early Hits: 75 – Nine Lives (2004) 83 – Mean Girls (2004) 53 – Mamma Mia! (2008) Recent Misses: 33 – Boogie Woogie (2009 28 – Dear John (2010) 41 – Letters to Juliet (2010)
4		Lindsay Lohan Decline / Year: 3.22		Early Hits: 79 – The Parent Trap (1998) 88 – Freaky Friday (2003) 83 – Mean Girls (2004) Recent Misses: 13 – Just My Luck (2006) 17 – Georgia Rule (2007) 7 – I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
5		Barbra Streisand Decline / Year: 3.18		Early Hits: 92 – Funny Girl (1968) 100 – On a Clear Day… (1970) 91 – What’s Up, Doc? (1972) Recent Misses: 54 – Mirror Has Two Faces (1996) 38 – Meet the Fockers (2004) 10 – Little Fockers (2010)
6		Orlando Bloom Decline / Year: 3.10		Early Hits: 92 – Lord of the Rings I (2001) 77 – Black Hawk Down (2001) 96 – Lord of the Rings II (2002) Recent Misses: 20 – Love / Other Disasters (2006) 45 – Pirates of the Carr. 3 (2007) 38 – New York, I Love You (2010)
7		Billy Burke Decline / Year: 2.95		Early Hits: 86 – Under the Skin (1997) 78 – Without Limits (1998) 60 – The Independent (2000) Recent Misses: 15 – Untraceable (2008) 27 – Twilight 2 (2009) 50 – Twilight 3 (2010)
8		Macaulay Culkin Decline / Year: 2.88		Early Hits: 56 – Uncle Buck (1989) 71 – Jacob’s Ladder (1990) 47 – Home Alone (1990) Recent Misses: 8 – Getting Even with Dad (1994) 27 – Party Monster (2003) 9 – Sex and Breakfast (2007)
9		Julie Andrews Decline / Year: 2.70		Early Hits: 100 – The Amer. of Emily (1964) 100 – Mary Poppins (1964) 100 – Thor. Modern Millie (1967) Recent Misses: 41 – Shrek the Third (2007) 58 – Shrek 4 (2010) 17 – The Tooth Fairy (2010)
10		America Ferrera Decline / Year: 2.64		Early Hits: 83 – Real Wom. Have Curves (2002) 86 – Steel City (2005) 79 – Sis of the Traveling Pants (2005) Recent Misses: 11 – Towards Darkness (2008) 61 – The Dry Land (2010) 14 – Our Family Wedding (2010)
11		Derek Luke Decline / Year: 2.62		Early Hits: 79 – Antwone Fisher (2002) 84 – Pieces of April (2003) 81 – Friday Night Lights (2004) Recent Misses: 36 – Miracle at St. Anna (2008) 26 – Madea Goes to Jail (2009) 50 – Notorious (2009)
12		David Spade Decline / Year: 2.61		Early Hits: 94 – Light Sleeper (1992) 65 – Reality Bites (1994) 1994 – PCU (1994) Recent Misses: 12 – The Benchwarmers (2006) 18 – Grandma’s Boy (2006) 10 – Grown Ups (2010)
13		Chris Klein Decline / Year: 2.38		Early Hits: 92 – Election (1999) 59 – American Pie (1999) 63 – We Were Soliders (2002) Recent Misses: 20 – The Good Life (2007) 8 – New York City Serenade (2007) 10 – Stright Fighter (2009)
14		Diane Keaton Decline / Year: 2.10		Early Hits: 100 – The Godfather (1972) 100 – Sleeper (1973) 100 – Love and Death (1975) Recent Misses: 5 – Because I Said So (2006) 8 – Mama’s Boy (2007) 22 – Mad Money (2008)
15		Katherine Heigl Decline / Year: 2.07		Early Hits: 80 – That Night (1992) 96 – King of the Hill (1993) 60 – 100 Girls (2000) Recent Misses: 14 – The Ugly Truth (2009) 29 – Life as We Know It (2010) 11 – Killers (2010)
	Check it out, Carlos is only 35!
35		Charlie Sheen Decline / Year: 1.25		Early Hits: 81 – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) 86 – Platoon (1986) 78 – Wall Street ( 1987) Recent Misses: 36 – Scary Movie 3 (2003) 37 – Scary Movie 4 (2006) 40 – Due Date (2010)

The Process

1. Rotten Tomatoes derives a score out of 100 for every movie based on the percentage of favorable reviews. They’re used for this exercise, unedited.

2. The decline per year and graphs were auto-generated. The decline is the slope coefficient for a standard linear regression, the graphs use a moving average for the trend line.

3. Only the top 500 actors are included (the 500 whose movies have earned the most at the box office), and actors must have starred in 10 movies.

Caveat

Since rate is a function of time, actors with a shorter career will have a much more volatile number. That means actresses like Julie Andrews and Diane Keaton have to work extra hard to sully all those 100′s from the beginning of their career.

The Extended List